The event of turning 21 is an event of great significance in any traditional Tamil Brahmin girl’s life! No ofcourse, it has nothing to do with being able to drink legally or generally being to “get a life’ ( of your own) . At 21 people presume you are well .. ummm.. ready for marriage .. well whether you are ready or not is ofcourse a totally different issue ..
The wedding topic is as often repeated as the “Vishnu Sarasanamam” – only it is heard not only during the morning but also afternoon , evening and night and in different voices and trust me none of those voices ( Noisy uncles , curious aunts and more relatives ) are as sweet as M.S Subbalakshmi’s !The triggers to the topic are also many : For one you switch one any Tamil channel and God forbid there is a movie with a “poonu paakara” scene happen – they usually sigh ! ( loudly ) and talk about how soon it will be your turn!( yes like I am demented enough to wear a pure silk sari and a 100 Kgs of jewelry in the sweltering heat here in Chennai ! ), ofcourse there are many other triggers also , for example ‘jewelry ads “ , “bank –loan advertisements “ and well actually just about anything .
The search then starts – You see the tam Bram network is so well connected that it would put google to shame in terms of speed to search for the ‘perfect boy ‘ , the keywords are ofcourse : Engineer , US , Green card , Havard and then shift to the less superficial like “tall , fair ,good family” .Other seemingly inconsequential keywords which never make it to the list are “ interests , hobbies , attitude towards life, women etc etc “ all these questions are always answered with “ you can change him after marriage” – sure .. like he is some sort of project we embark on with the sole aim of changing everything possible !
Well, once the seeing and verifying process is over the “MDN – Maami Detective Network” works overt-time on the next stage of the process – shortlisting , all the data is compiled and sorted and verified and a 15 by 15 matrix is drawn with the options ploted in terms of looks, income , family and future prospects and with a precision which would put the CBI , FBI and Scotland Yard to shame the elusive “TOP 5 “ is chosen !
Ofcourse , while this entire process is happening the poor innocent bride to be is blissfully unaware of what is transpiring underneath . As any other unsuspecting 21 year old she goes about her daily work and slowly catches bits of conversation here and there about “such and such guy” – who is doing soooo well and soooo smart and sooo good-looking “ , ofcourse the poor, innocent unsuspecting girl is completely unaware that the statements are actually “booty traps” well laid out and planned months in advance and is intrigued by what she hears …
The usual drama follows .. and soon the one of the five makes it to the final cut and the couple flies off to some exotic destination for their happily every after …while the relatives watch on beaming with unconcealed pride .. well whoever said “MARRIGES ARE MADE IN HEAVEN “ !
The wedding topic is as often repeated as the “Vishnu Sarasanamam” – only it is heard not only during the morning but also afternoon , evening and night and in different voices and trust me none of those voices ( Noisy uncles , curious aunts and more relatives ) are as sweet as M.S Subbalakshmi’s !The triggers to the topic are also many : For one you switch one any Tamil channel and God forbid there is a movie with a “poonu paakara” scene happen – they usually sigh ! ( loudly ) and talk about how soon it will be your turn!( yes like I am demented enough to wear a pure silk sari and a 100 Kgs of jewelry in the sweltering heat here in Chennai ! ), ofcourse there are many other triggers also , for example ‘jewelry ads “ , “bank –loan advertisements “ and well actually just about anything .
The search then starts – You see the tam Bram network is so well connected that it would put google to shame in terms of speed to search for the ‘perfect boy ‘ , the keywords are ofcourse : Engineer , US , Green card , Havard and then shift to the less superficial like “tall , fair ,good family” .Other seemingly inconsequential keywords which never make it to the list are “ interests , hobbies , attitude towards life, women etc etc “ all these questions are always answered with “ you can change him after marriage” – sure .. like he is some sort of project we embark on with the sole aim of changing everything possible !
Well, once the seeing and verifying process is over the “MDN – Maami Detective Network” works overt-time on the next stage of the process – shortlisting , all the data is compiled and sorted and verified and a 15 by 15 matrix is drawn with the options ploted in terms of looks, income , family and future prospects and with a precision which would put the CBI , FBI and Scotland Yard to shame the elusive “TOP 5 “ is chosen !
Ofcourse , while this entire process is happening the poor innocent bride to be is blissfully unaware of what is transpiring underneath . As any other unsuspecting 21 year old she goes about her daily work and slowly catches bits of conversation here and there about “such and such guy” – who is doing soooo well and soooo smart and sooo good-looking “ , ofcourse the poor, innocent unsuspecting girl is completely unaware that the statements are actually “booty traps” well laid out and planned months in advance and is intrigued by what she hears …
The usual drama follows .. and soon the one of the five makes it to the final cut and the couple flies off to some exotic destination for their happily every after …while the relatives watch on beaming with unconcealed pride .. well whoever said “MARRIGES ARE MADE IN HEAVEN “ !
1 comment:
Yout post reminded me of a piece by R. K. Narayanan wherein he elaborates on the process of trapping & taming wild elephants. Weird thing about groom/bride hunting system like most Hindu rituals had a meaning ages ago. Nowadays its significance is lost or the process has derailed it and converted aunts into mindless automatons. Sometimes I think that the whole groom/bride is another way to get their minds of menopause.
Much power to you. You'll need it.
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